Dr. Seuss said this quote! Even though I like this quote in many regards…I can’t say I completely agree with it. Sometimes crying is all you can do. Today was one of those days for a friend of mine. This friend and I are in a moms group together. A week ago her two year old son went to take his usual nap, but unfortunately he never woke up. He died all of a sudden and the doctors don’t know why. Her WHOLE life feels lost now. Her son meant the world to her. She was a stay at home mom and put everything into being a wife and a mother. She was an awesome mom…and today she had to bury her only child and listen to hundreds of people tell her how sorry they are.
I CAN’T IMAGINE!
What is so hard for me to comprehend is why things like this happen. This child was her miracle baby. She had miscarriages before he was born and told everyone that this was her answer to prayer. She FINALLY had her baby…and now he is gone.
How are we not to worry after hearing situations like this? Is she really supposed to smile? After finding out about this tragic situation I felt sick to my stomach. That night I probably checked on Zane ten times to make sure he was still breathing. I had a nightmare that he had suffocated in my bed only to find him peacefully sleeping in his crib. I put myself in her shoes for a second and thought about how I would feel. The first feelings were confusion, anger, and sadness. I questioned why God would allow for her to be given such a miracle only to have it taken away. Then I thought about God and what I know about Him. He is a good, gracious, and understanding God. He had lost a Son too…He knew what it felt like. I pictured God comforting my friend and carrying her through each second. He was holding her precious son and she would see him again. This picture gave me hope. This picture helped me to realize that my Zane is always in God’s hands. Even though I would probably not smile for a very long time if this happened to me…I know my boy would be smiling up in Heaven.
That being said, I know that it is perfectly normal and expected to grieve. The Bible talks more about grieving than it does about smiling. My encouragement to everyone of you going through a loss (I know there are a lot of you) is to please grieve. Don’t feel the need to smile or to act like everything is fine. God wants us to feel what we feel. David in the Psalms constantly wrote of his frustrations, doubts, and struggles. Even though we don’t like it…our struggles DO make us STRONGER. Keep pressing on and don’t ever give up! It’s very important to have hope even when all feels lost.
If I could change the quote it would be: “Do cry because it’s over, but still smile because it happened.”