In November of 2011 I asked my mom when she thought I would get married. She said “next summer.” I said “YEAH RIGHT!”
As a Christian I believe that prayer is very important. I believe prayer is where we find peace and comfort. I have always loved prayer but wished that I could actually hear God speak to me. Sometimes I get discouraged when I feel like I am talking to nobody. I mean I know that He is there but I can’t see him or feel him. When ever I get discouraged I think back to the only time I truly heard God speak to me.
So when was this beautiful moment??
It was December 6, 2011. I was in my house all by myself after a long day of work. I decided that everyday after work I would go home and pray. 10 days earlier I had met the most wonderful man. He had spoken at my church and I could not get him off my mind. I could barely remember what he looked like, but I could remember everything he said. Since that day at church we had been emailing back and forth. I remember feeling very nervous. I didn’t want to be a distraction to him. He was obviously a gifted man who had a bright future. I knew that he came from a culture where they didn’t interact with women just for fun like they do here in America. I wanted to keep talking to him but I was SO scared. I was anxious because I didn’t know anything about him besides his faith in God. I also was nervous because I didn’t have the best past. I had made some bad choices and I thought he deserved better than me.
Normally after work I would go hang out with my friends, but this week was different. Each night I got home I would pray for Jaber. I prayed that God would bless him and that God would reward him. I prayed that God would give me wisdom. I kept asking God if I should stop talking to him, but I kept feeling peace about it. As the days passed I was getting more nervous. I felt like I needed an answer from God. I needed to know if this was going to be my husband. I had dated in the past and I knew that relationships either end in marriage or they just plain end. I did NOT want to hurt Jaber. I could tell he was interested in me and I did not want to even start the relationship unless I knew it was what God had for me.
On December 6, 2011 I finally got my answer. I had been praying all night that God would calm my fears and answer me on whether or not I was supposed to marry Jaber. I had so many fears like: what would my friends think? Would people think I was crazy? I knew that this was not the normal way to find your husband, especially in America. Finally I felt God whisper in my ear, “Isaiah 41:9-10.” I kept hearing it over and over again until finally I decided to look it up. I could not believe me eyes when I read it:
“You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth,
And called from its remotest parts
And said to you, ‘You are My servant,
I have chosen you and not rejected you.
‘Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand”
I immediately started crying. God had CHOSEN me to be his wife. He chose me even though I felt like there were better people out there for him. He chose ME from the ends of the earth. I didn’t need to be worried about what other people would say or how people would react because my GOD was going to take care of me. I underlined the passage and wrote 12/6/11 in my Bible.
THEN WHAT HAPPENED NEXT??
Well after not talking to Jaber all day I received a short message from him. Guess what it said?? “Read Isaiah 41:9-10. I literally could not believe my eyes. If I was doubting at all that this was from God before…I definitely wasn’t doubting anymore. Apparently this had been Jaber’s favorite verse for the last 6 years and I had no idea. To top it off my mom emailed me later that night and said that she couldn’t explain herself but that she felt like I was supposed to marry Jaber. This was all SO crazy to me because my family had never said anything like this.
As I looked back on the situation I went through all my journals from the year before. I had prayed so specifically that God would lead me to the right man. I was so worried that I would marry the wrong person. I had been in relationships before that were not God honoring and I did not want to end up in those relationships again. I was so nervous that I steered away from guys to avoid relationships all together. In my journals I specifically prayed for a man that would simply love God and love me. I prayed for a man who would protect me. I even asked God for a man who would know from the very beginning that I was his wife so I wouldn’t have to go through the long drawn out dating thing again. All I wanted was to do it the right way. I didn’t want to break any hearts and frankly I didn’t want another broken heart either.
After that night I completely committed in my heart to follow God and to marry Jaber (if he would have me of course!). We went on our first date a week later, got engaged 6 weeks after that, and were married on July 21, 2012.
MY MOM WAS RIGHT!! 🙂
God taught me that He had the best plans for me despite how unworthy I felt I was. God knew exactly what Jaber and I needed! We are so blessed. He also showed me that He does listen to my prayers. Every time I think I am praying to a wall…I remember that He is there listening!
LOVE to LOVE